Stressed to the max but loving it

Been running on coffee for the last three days, so much so that the days have blurred into one another and I’m on auto pilot at present, doing things even before I can process them because I know if I stop then I’ll crash and I’ve still got till tomorrow before that’s allowed. School hasn’t resumed but I’ve been in school all week coz I and some other guys from the faculty are preparing for a competition, pulling all nights and working most of the day, its strenuous work but its also fun, we’re preparing for the annual All African Human Rights moot competition. We’ve been given a hypothetical case, we have to prepare memorials for both the applicant and respondent and we’ve been working on this for months coz slight changes are made to the question every month but May’s was the final and most significant modification and our deadline for submission to the commission is tomorrow so we’re working round the clock to make things as near perfect as they can be.
Jeez I never thought it’ld be this strenuous or tasking but its also so much fun, all the gist and getting to know people I’ve only had a passing acquaintance with in the past and this is just marvelous but I think I’ve not slept for more than 6 hours in the past 72 hours, its that bad, its also beautiful seeing as I’ve always been a lazy person who never stressed herself, (I pick up my books like 2 or 3 weeks to exams and I still wonder how I manage to get good grades), but now I’m pushing my limits and I’m not finding new limits, no, I’m realizing that there are no limits to what I can do, I’m filling my life with so much, writing, a relationship, working on this competition, blogging, and the best part is that no aspect is suffering because I’m learning to find a balance for things, and well I’m breaking new grounds for myself so excuse me if I’m too ecstatic but its new for me to do some serious multi-tasking and its putting me on such a high, o.k. well maybe that’s the coffee…
p.s. I’m writing this while waiting for the meeting to start coz I know I might not be able to write again today so I’ll post this later.

facing my fears

today was such a boring day, can't wait for this hols to come to an end, any way saw p-square's 'no one like you' video and i think that's my fav p-square video now, oh and saw the video of D'banj, Wande Cole's 'pere', was kinda disappointed, i mean i really like that song but that video was a bit boring.

yeah, let me get to what i want to blog about today, i'm trying to shame myself into doing a lot of things, facing my fears and all...

I don’t dance… no, no that’s wrong, I do only in front of my mirror, I’m a legend in church, ramrod straight and folded arms during praise, for the 15 years i've been in that church. See its not that I can’t dance its just that I’m too stuck up to do so (yeah right!), actually I’m too scared to do so coz I think I might not look so good digging it… the one time I let myself get roped into being a bridesmaid, it was a disaster, all the maids and the grooms were getting their grooves on, on the dance floor and I was just standing, my partner beat me… a woman at dancing, pathetic, he didn’t even have to try hard, simply swaying would have been enough…but ta da, roll out the drums, I decided to let go of my fears and let myself be coaxed into doing a dance routine in church with some friends and everybody thought it was really good, so yep I dance well…
Haven’t been writing in a while, its not that I can’t anymore, the ideas still flow, its just that I’m scared, scared that what I write won’t be as good as in d past I mean for a while I seemed to have the golden touch and all my stories were turning out good and then wrote some stuff I could not even bear to re-read and then just kind of got scared, been putting it off so much that time’s passed, a lot of time and now I’m trying to face my fears by accepting that its not that I can't, its just that I’m scared to, scared of what I’ll write…
Its dawning on me how many other things in my life I have ignored or let lie fallow because I don’t think I can do them and I know its not just me, most of us are like that about some things and we lose a lot, a whole lot and it just reminds me of a friend telling me, ‘you’re lucky to have talents and even if you have a lot, you should not let a single one go to waste’. Its time for me to stop thinking about stuff, stop dreaming, get my head out of those wishes (I’m good at losing myself in them). Its time for me to start doing something, write a word, a line, a page and before I know it I’ll have another story and if it’s not good, I’ll just have to work on it and if it still isn’t good, I’ll tear up the pages and write me a new one. I’m still scared, still skeptical about my abilities but I’ll just never know if I don’t do it will I?, and I think there’s only one thing worse than failing and that is, not starting… because of fear.
Well so I guess its time to bring out my dancing shoes and a pen, yeah, yeah, I’m kind of using this little piece as a defense, I mean, I just wrote right? O.k. o.k. I’ll go write a story now… phew!

p.s. if what i write is passable, maybe i'll post it someday

finally!

so, here goes my first post, like, finally i'm blogging... been reading blogs for over a year now and i've been dreaming about starting mine since like forever, got talking to this guy last week and from my own words discovered how lazy i really am and how much stuff i've been wishing and dreaming i could do for years without ever taking steps to start doing any of them so here's what i'm starting with, a blog, i hope twill be the blog of my dreams and maybe dancing will be next, then photography, then maybe i'll write a novel some day too, but first i gotta stick to this blog... i'm like wow! i'm finally getting off my lazy behind.