I see him almost everyday and he looks lyk someone keeps flipping his switch; sometimes looks normal and other times so sad. Everyone is asking me, telling me… I’m the bad guy here I guess. Was reading Honeydropz’s on how she felt about her boyfriend breaking up with her after 2 years and twas as tho twas him writing it coz tis stuff he’s been telling me non-stop since it happened.
Close to 2 years and I quit (technically, he left, but I was the one who refused to come back). He won’t stop calling, won’t stop texting. He wants me back, I don’t want back!
A friend asked me how I fell out of it so suddenly, here’s what I told her, it wasn’t sudden tho it looks lyk that on the outsyd, it was that 4 a long tym, about 5 months b4 it ended things had been downhill, one issue after the other, he pulling the break-up card so often, me building a wall around myself coz the only way to stop hurting was to stop loving, to stop caring.
I did and when I did, I left for good and then I find that his pride had probably stood in the way coz now he’s saying things, showing things that I had no idea he even felt a tiny measure of but its too l8 coz it already died for me and I find that what once meant the world to me now means nothing more than maybe a headache at the thot of ever going thru that again…
Its true when they say love is a decision, its so easy to fall out of love, so so easy, u just decide to stop and after a while, u find that u have… or am I just weird?
My old roomie came by yday and we got talking and when I told her B nd I were no longer 2geda, she went ‘r u serious?, after all the stress that boy gave u last semester, Rayo u were always crying at the end of last semester’. She told me about how she and the other roomies hadn’t wanted to interfere, bless those girls, I so miss them!
She was shocked when I told her I was the one who dint want to be with him anymore. she said she never would have thought I’d have the strength to leave or stop loving him, I never thot I would either… increasingly I find that I do or say things even before I know I want them and once I do there’s no turning back 4 me…
I don’t feel guilty when I see him, I feel sorry that he’s hurting, that I’m causing him pain coz rili, he’s wonderful and what we had was good for a while and then it just wasn’t anymore, not for me at least.
Its been a while now and the knowledge that he’s still hurting kinda makes me glad that’s not me coz I doubt I’d have been able to pull thru a break up while I still loved him… I guess what made the difference was that while I was in I stopped feeling anything.
Don’t know if u still read my blog B but I’m sorry u’re hurting and I know u probably think I’m being selfish and maybe I am but it just wasn’t working for me any longer, twas causing too much pain…
28 comments:
FIRRRRSSSTTT!!!!
Sometimes you come to the realisation that some things are not worth it after weighing up things. You have good friends too. Unless it was tears of joy, why should you be crying? Sometimes, you work at something that is broken beyond repair...maybe this was one of them. It's nice of you to consider his current feelings but did he consider you when you cried those nights?
"To the left.. to the left.."
Sometimes you don't appreciate what you have.. till you walk out and she doesn't let you back in..
it's always hard to completely let go...when u care as a human being for others. I hope he tries to understand and find his own freedom soon.
Guess going forward in life requires making hard decisions and sticking with them.... He chose the action, the consequences are all part of the same package... even if in hindsight it was the wrong package he chose....Really hope the dude pulls thru it tho... And gets the wiser for it...
You have to do what works for u. I don't see the point of being in a relationship where u r crying everyday. Na by force!
Good job for sticking to ur decision.
:-( eiyah. Sad u are hurting girl, but nothing good comes easy. Sometimes, it hurts to get ur peace back, but in the long run, it's worth it. He'll be fine.
hmmm...good for you. Its funny how ppl always asume that just because we smile outside, things are all good on the inside.
Sometimes you have to do what you have to do and if the relationship is causing you pain then it isn't healthy and someone had to make the right decision.
Hopefully, he will come to understand and both of you will move on to satisfying relationships.
Well the past is the past........Big up to being able to walk out........took me 3years to do what you did in 5 months, and I never looked back or felt sorry that he was hurting......
after all I was hurting for 3yrs and he was doing what he was doing.
awwwww, believe me I know how much strenght is needed in deciding not to love someone anymore...
you strip yourself of the excuses you made for him,the way he looked to you and a whole lot of ish before u can move on...well done babes...
The process of moving on is never an easy road to travel.
Its expecially hard when love once was...he will get over it, you will get over it. Sometimes things have to end, its just lifes mysterious cycle.
Happy forging ahead babes. Do not look back
It's good for you girl. You should never compromise, especially 'emotionally'. And it doesn't make any sense going back on your decision...ever! There's a good reason you left.
xoxo.
i hav been there...its just a phase cos we are humans not robots so we gastu have feelings..good and bad..
I really don't know what to say. My head's in a real topsy-turvy but I guess you did the right thing by calling it quits even if you would still be happy in the rel. Y'see, I always say that it is sometimes good to follow your heart even if its the wrong thing you're going after.
In this case, you did right; loved urself first!
I waz here
Some decisions are difficult to make, but in making them, you should weigh the consequences and consider them worthy or not worth the risk.
Have fun finding your way..
Goin through same stuffs as your boyfriend and can bet i know how he feels..but its not in all cases that the guy gets the bulk of the blame even when she makes a lady cry..some ladies just indulge in the cry-game to get some attention..,not sayin you were but all the same..good job expressin your thoughts and respectin your dude's feelins
Sounds like i could've written this.
better now
than ten years time when there might have been kids and a mortgage involved
we all need to be true to our feelings
if it has stopped working it has stopped working
the worst thing you can ever do is be with someone out of pity
Oh, just perfect...another break up story...
Well...would I say welcome to the club?
btw: Now that we are both single can we...
LOL!
it gets to an extent where u just cant take it anymore, no matter how much u love the person.
no it was not entirely his fault, my oh my i had so many too... Lumi, u're ryt on that count.
nd thank y'all so so much
i guess toying with someone's feelings does come around to bite in the ass. considering he dangled the break-up carrot for so long, i'm not surprised u are now "resistant".
been there, and i was the one who dangled.
he'll have to live with it. you have soo moved on and the more he tries to get u back, the more resistant and even possibly irritated u'll become.
hope u've stopped cryin.actually, d person ifeel sorry 4 is ur ex but i guess ilearnt somethin 4rm his pain- don't hide ur feelins till they don't matter anymore.......i tend 2 do that
Sometimes one just needs to let go. I feel your pain. Take it easy...I'm sure you'll get through it in one piece.
i strongly understand how he feels but it will pass.
u smhw need to help him stop hurting!... well,i think so.
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