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Thursday, September 30, 2010

MY LAST BREATH


I

It rained on Ol’ Hangin’ Field,

And Death can play no more.

It rained of pain again,

And the green and the grime only grinned back

From the muddled, bloodied turf...

And now, Death can play no more.

No more shall his sword

Drip with black or blue or red blood.


No more shall the white turf

Be stained with silent screams

Bequeathed to his silenced voice.


Beneath this tombstone, the soul lies dead;

And no accursed lyric shall raise it again.

For it rained on Ol’ Hangin’ Field,

And Death can play no more.



II

Dear Friend,

A spade is my last gift to you.

Take it! Take it, you coward.

Call it a spade if you like,

Or shovel it down my throat. I don’t care.

Always confusing the thoughts in my head:

So, I can’t trust myself anymore.

Hit me on the head when I turn;

Hit me still when I fall.

Hit me till all that’s left is blood and gore,

Then dig a trench and push me in.

Be your brother’s keeper...just like Cain.

Burn up all my scrolls, each damned one!

Sprinkle the ash, the dust

From those lost relics of my being.

Sprinkle it all over my grave.

Just your labour, I require from you.

That shouldn’t be too much for a dead man to ask.



III

Depart! Acccursed Muses! Depart!

Peadophiles! Perverts! Depart!

Subtle seducers! Finger fucking my brain!

Don’t want your hand this time

I’d save myself!

Depart!

Spare this sad soul some senseless sorrow;

Inhabit this labyrinth of brain no more.

Before me there were many,

After me there shall be many,

I am not the only one!

Depart!



IV

The sun shall rise no more

Above this darkened sky.

The white light has blinded the sight,

And darkness is all that remains.

How can you see into my eyes

Like open doors?

You stare at the light till it becomes you

You stare in rebellion, in defiance

Till its scorching glare stares you down.

Till the light becomes you, and you it.

...only that the product is darkness...

Molecules and molecules of darkness...

And I shall see no more.


I have wept in the rain so much

That its drum drumming on my eardrum

Leaves nothing else to be heard.

How often did I deceive myself:

Rain and tears are but the same

Only in the sun do you feel the pain.

And when Silence screams,

Everyone else keeps silent,

Silenced by Silence.

Atoms and atoms of silence...

And I shall hear no more


The dearth that shall come is here!

The hoarse is no longer a whisper.

No more shall it speak of ravaged market places,

Nor of broken calabashes.

Nor of desolate village squares.

The praise of Òrúnmìlà shall it proclaim no more.

Ifá shall will it to speak and it shall refuse!

Holding my last breath

Safe inside myself

Particles and particles of muteness.

Molecules and molecules of blindness

Atoms and atoms of silence...

And I shall speak no more!


by S.S

2006